Weatherwax Class of 1969 Reverses Climate Change, Cures Cancer, and Ends War
(News Item #0355, Published: 10/06/18, Author: William Victor May, Weatherwax1969.org)
In an organizational meeting today, attended by classmates from around the world, it was announced that the Weatherwax High School Class of 1969 had made major strides to solve some of the world's stickiest problems.
With a distinguished career in architecture, alumnus David Holmes has spent the last decade working with global experts on what many experts consider a terrifying increase in the world's temperature that is leading to climate change so massive that it may cause sunshine to come to Grays Harbor county more frequently than every other year.
"I was so devastated to hear that we might lose our ever present rain, that I jumped in with revolutionary ideas about how to reverse climate change." said Holmes.
Leaders were so impressed with Holme's ideas that they were adopted immediately and the World Association On Climate Change (WACCO) now believes that temperatures will return to normal by September 20, 2019 which just happens to be the 50th graduation anniversary reunion of the Weatherwax Class of 1969.
After retiring to an undisclosed bucolic village, the ever energetic Janet Kralevich Bacon, also a Weatherwax Class of 1969 alumnus, has been deeply immersed in finding a universal cure for cancer.
"Because there are so many types of cancer, many experts believed that no single solution could impact cancers as the devilishly complicated medical challenge that they are," said Kralevich.
So the world was surprised when Kralevich, working in her home kitchen and potting shed, fell upon a simple and elegant solution. Simply by planting cancerous cells in the compost pile she has been tending since high school, Kralevich has been able to reverse the effect of every cancer type she has tested.
Kralevich continued, "I started the pile with mud from the bowerman basin hear Hoquiam and apparently it has some kind of stuff that is miraculous or downright radioactive." Each treatment takes some months to be completed but I hope to have pretty much every type of cancer exterminated by September 20, 2019.
Classmates have been wondering about the whereabouts of Ronald Leeck, who many thought would spend his life playing drums in rock and roll bands. Little did they know that he has devoted 50 years to working with the United Nations in conflict zones around the world.
"Conflict zones are just a fancy name for Wars," says Leeck, "But I have found that bringing everyone together for a concert, a party, and a good time pretty much wipes out the animosity."
Continuing his around the globe travels, Leeck hopes to have all hot spots under control and the world living in harmony like never before by September 20, 2019. That will allow him to return home to Aberdeen Washington in time for a 50th reunion of his classmates.
"Don't be surprised if I am not there, just in case it takes me a little longer to make sure everyone world wide is happy and fine." says Leeck.
The 9th class reunion of the Weatherwax Class of 1969 will take place on the week end of September 20, 2019. Friday night will be a no-host beer blast at the Hoquiam Brewing company that just happens to be owned and operated by Laura Myers Balderson's son.
Says Myers, "I won't be picking up the tab, but I will be picking up compliments about the food and beer."
Saturday night will be a big gala at the Grays Harbor County Club with music, food, and alcoholic beverages for those who have still not yet become members of AA. The price is just $1 per person, per year, which works out to a handy $50 if you passed math in high school.
"I was so happy to be invited to the reunion and would like to announce the earth shaking things I have done in 50 years, but frankly I just can't think of anything. Have no clue about Climate Changes. Haven't cured Cancer and don't get me started about stupid wars," claims Bill May another classmate.
"But I have started to use my full name William May to sound like I have accomplished something when, in fact, I have not."
To be found, and to find out more, about the reunion, go to Weatherwax1969.org and register today. Current organizing members are desperately looking for other classmates to do most of the work, pay most of the money, and act as designated drivers.
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